You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Lo siento on account of my penis...
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
