Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
