It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
foreskin is a definite game changer
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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