i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize