i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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