So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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