Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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