Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i just had sex bonerless
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
