I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
