so explain again why im purple
no
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
