Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
