It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
