i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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