is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Randomize
