I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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