If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
you will always have a special place in my vag
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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