Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
