ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
