"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
