i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
