Well douche your snatch and let's go!
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
they're like a gay fantastic four
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
