3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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