we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
