oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
