There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
