Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
