So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Randomize
