WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
