I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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