no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
sarcasm needs its own font
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
