Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I believe in your delicious
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
