Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
She's JV to your varsity
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
i need some magic done to my vagina
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
