if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
