U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i drank out of a bidet.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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