i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
