clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
