Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
