HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You smell like stripper and shame
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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