whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
