What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
