New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
