Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
