Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
