so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize