question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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