let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
you traded sex for a burrito?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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