you guys were way drunker than both of me
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
