okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
