Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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