I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize