girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize