the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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