I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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