we have officially mastered the walk of shame
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
