Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
