wat bout pragnant strippers??
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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