so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
