You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize