the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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