Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
