I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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