is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize